There was a time when fake “Rolex” watches were popular.

My favorite test was to look at who was wearing it.

A test on buying a “Rolex” is “location.” They are not sold in discount stores or kept behind a convenience store counter.

Another test is price. A used men's “Submariner” in decent shape will start at about $5,000 — that's five grand, five large, nearly the price of my first house.

People think they can spot a liar from words they use, suggesting liars don't use “contractions” such as “couldn't,” “shouldn't,” “didn't.” I don't know about that.

Liars are supposed to avoid eye contact, do a little nose touching, and over-emphasize details.

Women believe a sure give-away is that the talker is male.

Good women often wind up with bad men.

In her book, “Women who Love Too Much,” Robin Norwood sets the mystery straight.

The book is out of print (I believe) but copies are available. It should be mandatory reading for every sixteen year old female.

I think of the book when I think of Mary and Sue (fake names).

Their father left when they were small. Their lives hung on promises but child support checks, Christmas gifts, birthday cards have been in the mail for thirty-five years.

Neither has had a successful relationship with a man. I wish their mother had read the book. She chose a looser.

He is a narcissist.

A narcissist's world revolves around him, he loves himself deeply. They are charming and “it is all about him.” They are users.

Quacks are hard to spot because they seem so sincere and you go to them.

A “doctor” who sells “natural” vitamins knows, but won't tell you, that your body can't tell the difference between a tab of ascorbic acid (vitamin C) from a lemon or that created in a lab. There is no difference, none, and a claim otherwise is either a lie or “uninformed.”

If you are being sold on a “cleansing” of your innards to remove “toxins” you are about to be “cleaned.”

Your body has a cleansing system as original equipment; kidneys with help from your three-pound liver.

Drink a moderate amount of water each day and keep your money. You don't have to create a scene, just don't go back and don't listen to the pitch.

Take care of your equipment and it will take care of you. Your part is to drink water.

Quacks can be convincing because their living depends upon it.

They attack standard and effective medical treatment by sowing doubt, sometimes vague doubt.

They down-talk “big medicine” and “big pharmacy.”

Often, generalized pain, joint pain, back pain can be greatly helped using simple stretching and you learn that from a physical therapist at your hospital.

Be smart. Keep your money.

Joe Phillips writes his “Dear me” columns for several small newspapers. He has many connections to Walker County, including his grandfather, former superintendent Waymond Morgan. He can be reached at joenphillips@hotmail.com.